42 CHRISTIAN JOKES TO ENJOY

42 Clean Christian Jokes
That Will Make You
Laugh In A Positively
Spiritual Way
By January Nelson , March 30th 2018
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Ben White
1. What time of day was Adam created?
Just a little before Eve.
2. Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam. He was first in the human race.
3. Why are atoms Catholic?
Because they have mass.
4. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was always standing on the
deck
5. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing?
He only had two worms.
6. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?
Nope — just an apple.
7. Why did the unemployed man get excited while
reading his Bible?
He thought he saw a job.
8. Does God love everyone?
Yes, but He prefers “fruits of the spirit” to
“religious nuts!”
9. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb…
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
10. What’s so funny about forbidden fruits?
They create many jams.
11. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
He just knew there was something fishy
about it.
12. What kind of man was Boaz before he married
Ruth?
Absolutely ruthless
13. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a
purpose.
Mosquitoes come close, though.
14. What kind of car does Jesus typically drive?
A Christler.
15. What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s
Witness and a Unitarian?
Someone who goes around knocking on
doors for no apparent reason.
16. What excuse did Adam give his children about
why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and
home!
17. Which servant of God was the most flagrant
lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at
once.
18. Who was the first tennis player in the bible?
Joseph because he served in Pharaoh’s
court
19. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the
Bible?
David — he rocked Goliath to a very deep
sleep
20. How do groups of angels greet each other?
Halo, halo, halo!
21. Who was the greatest moneyman in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while
everyone else was in liquidation.
22. What do we have that Adam never had?
Ancestors.
23. Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
24. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
25. How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it, obviously.
26. Who do mice pray to?
Cheesus.
27. How do you make Holy Water?
You take some regular water and boil the
devil out of it.
28. How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
29. Why did God create man before woman?
Because He didn’t want any advice on
how to do it.
30. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the
chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
31. Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time?
Yup. The Bible says the disciples were all
of one Accord.
32. Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer
instead of ‘Awomen’?
Same reason we sing Hymns instead of
Hers!
33. What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
Mule-tide greetings.
34. Did you hear about the 1-800 service they have
for atheists now?
You dial the number and it rings and
rings but nobody answers
35. Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.
36. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the
cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers.
37. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson — he brought the house down
38. Who was the best female finance lady in the
Bible?
Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to
the bank of the Nile and drew out a little
prophet
39. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepherds
40. Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
41. Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
42. What’s the best way to study the Bible?